Writer-duo Kamayani and Nikhil Vyas have, as every year, come up with a very imaginative New Year message which they’ve sent out to friends. The message deserves to be shared for its sheer uniqueness. Hereit goes:
Notice regarding suspicious activity in your account
Dear Citizen,
This message is being sent to you as we have noticed a sudden influx of massive amounts of good wishes in your account. A new tax slab has been introduced to deal with these gifts. Called the GCST — Good Cheer and Serenity Tax — it will be calculated as follows:
Good cheer will be taxed at 18%. With every deposit of cheerfulness, your Bleak Outlook savings account will get depleted.
Good health now falls under the 35% slab. As per our records, due to the massive amounts of wishes accrued in your account, your Angst, Stress and Worry tax savings accounts will be depleted by 35% every month.
Good vibes are to be taxed at 12% which will be deducted from your FD of Negativity that has been growing at a fluctuating rate over the years.
Love is being kept at the same tax rate of 22%. But spending and spreading it over multiple avenues of life, people, work, passion projects and hobbies will help in writing it off as investment.
Laughter and light are now at 13%. Your safe deposit boxes containing Expectations and Dreams will be audited and 13% of the irrational elements from those will be deducted every time you receive and spread laughter and light.
All in all, we will be taxing 100% of your anti-rational wealth of negativity for every good wish you gather and spread.
😁
Have a happy new year — may your life be full of only good things and serenity. 🌈🌟😁May there be munificence, magnificence and magic in the coming 2025!
– Kamayani and Nikhil😇